Please be gentle with your words. I know he can easily just leave, and I wonder that myself as to why he hasn’t. I already know.

My boyfriend (M26) and I (F24) have known each other for 3 years now. We started getting serious about 2 years now. Like any other couple, there are ups and downs and rough patches. But recently, this year has been the toughest.

I am best described by my friends as blunt. Which could also translate to rude and disrespectful. I tend to be petty also, but I have been less of that lately. I do speak my mind freely whether or not it’s nice or straight up disrespectful. I don’t do that everyone, only to those who are closest to me. Which in this case is my boyfriend.

I admit that I have gotten way too comfortable being such an asshole and mean in a joking way to him that the “joke” is barely a joke. My friends and I roast each other this way but when it comes to him, he doesn’t want to be spoken to that way. I don’t know why I kept doing it anyway, and it kept pissing him off. Until today, I had no idea how little patience he has left for me. We talked for an hour about how I’ve been disrespectful and such, and I could not stop crying. I wouldn’t want him to do that to me and I wouldn’t want anyone feeling that way ever. It’s crazy too because every time he says something like, I just want you to change this and that, this sentence keeps playing in my head: “well, that’s just who I am!” But that is not right. People can change if they want.

We decided to take a week time off from each other. Specifically from just hanging out in person. We can still text and stuff. I left his house and as soon as I got home I couldn’t stop crying. The thought of our relationship ending was so painful. I didn’t think I would care this much, but wow I act so tough just to be bawling like a baby in my bedroom. I haven’t felt like this since I got broken up to 4 years ago.

I am the problem. I realize it now and I am going to make an effort this time to actually change the way I speak to my boyfriend. I will treat him with more respect and love. Has anyone experienced this? I would love to hear your inputs.