Am I wrong ?

Question

Me and my Child’s father were together when we had our first child together. He went to majority of the appointments, got me my cravings, etc did his part . 10m later I broke up with him shortly after finding out I was pregnant with our second because he cheated . I am 34 weeks I register for delivery next week . He has not gone to a single appointment . Doesn’t care about recaps from the appointments . Has not bought anything for the baby or given me any money. He has not gotten our other child in 2 months (his choice) but video chats her . I do my part .

I told him yesterday he can come to the birth but this baby will not have his last name . He got mad.

I’m not even being petty or spiteful. He didn’t earn that . Right ??

I told him yesterday he can come to the birth but this baby will not have his last name . He got mad.

I’m not even being petty or spiteful. He didn’t earn that . Right ??

Answer

You want your children that have the same father to have 2 different last names? Dont choose to do this to them.

Answer

I wouldn’t have given my first child a name that didn’t match mine. I certainly wouldn’t give my second child a name that doesn’t match its siblings from the same parents. Don’t follow one bad decision up with another. If you’re not going to change the first kids name, at least let them match.

Answer

I get the reasoning, but I feel like having two kids, by the same father with different last names is going to complicate an already complicated situation. When they both go to doctors appointments, no one will assume they’re related. When they start school same thing. It will probably lead to a lot of explaining on your part and their part as they get older. I’d either change your first child’s or give the second the father’s last name.

Answer

I meant to say "you're wrong". The kids should have matching last names. I accidentally clicked "you're not wrong".

Answer

Yes you are being spiteful. 😂

Answer

My 2nd born has his dad's last name only because my 1st does. I didn't want people to think they had different dads or for my 1st born to be the only one with a different last name

Answer

Give the child her father's last name, otherwise she will look illegitimateand as though she has a different father and said father doesn't want her. Let both of your children share a last name as they should, they are full siblings!

Answer

I say either give the second his last name, change your first’s to your last name and also give your second your last name, or hyphenate both. I don’t see the benefit of only one of them having his because it’s not going to ultimately affect anyone but the child. You’re going to have to explain to them that they have a different last name than their sibling because their dad cheated and wasn’t there for them the way he was there for the first. I feel like that could cause your child to resent their father and feel insecure and unloved. You’re bringing the child into adult drama. I could see not letting him in the room during birth for the sake of peace and the child doesn’t necessarily have to know about that, but giving your kids two different last names seems unnecessary.

Answer

Are you going to petition to change your first child’s last name? Hindsight is 20/20 but I might have hesitated with the first child and personally would have hyphenated with mine first. 
You’re not wrong. He made a choice. His choice wasn’t to stay with his family. And he’s choosing to be an absentee dad

Am I wrong ?

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