My marriage has been struggling. I'm 9 weeks postpartum after having twins and my husband won't even touch me anymore because our marriage has never been the same. After I and the twins I was exhausted and am a sahm. My husband works full time. When I was cleared for sex I just wanted to have sex with him and feel like myself feel desirable. But my husband wanted to play video games instead to decompress. He denied me sex the next day too because he was emotionally trained from work. He works for a crisis hotline. I asked him was he even attracted to me and he said him not having sex doesn't mean he's not attracted to me. I was over being rejected and I was also 7 weeks postpartum then and I searched my brain for the most fucked up thing I could say and I called my husband a bitch. My husband does not like being called a bitch because he has a really bad childhood and his dad would constantly call him a little bitch and then his grandfather who was awful and molested/r@ped him as a child referred to him as a bitch so bitch is his trigger word. My husband has basically moved out and stayed in a hotel the last couple weeks. He's been by to help with the twins but needed the space. He is coming home tomorrow but doesn't know how he feels about me or our marriage. What can I do to fix things? How can we repair this?

Edit: You're right Kim. I do want to take complete accountability. My postpartum isn't an excuse

Edit: Thank you Summer! I do truly feel bad even if he doesn't think I do. I never want to bring him back to s time where he felt unsafe and abused.