I want to get the courage to leave my partner and be done for good. We’re going on 8 years of constant back and forth. I moved out in 2020, but I feel as if I’m trauma bonded. The relationship is toxic and it was occasionally physical when we lived together. It’s been hard to let go completely because he was my first and also my first love. When things are good they’re great and it gives me hope that things are finally changing, but when they’re bad they’re really bad. I guess I stay because a part of me wants to finally feel like I’m wanted by him… that I’m enough for him. There are good things about him, but the bad outweighs the good. Lately, I can see that he’s trying to change but it makes me wonder how long it will last and why now… I don’t want to keep living like this and having to walk on eggshells and having to hold on to things that bother me because it always ends up turning into a huge argument and me being degraded and called out of my name by him. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I used to be such a happy, joyful person and now i randomly cry and wonder if i will ever be enough or wonder what someone else has that I don’t. I know the obvious is that I need to leave him, but there are so many emotions and the attachment I have to him is so strong so please be kind because this is difficult for me. I also wonder if it even gets better from here. Like will I even find someone who treats me better or is this as good as it gets? I guess I just need some advice on how to detach myself and hear some stories from others who have or are going through this. Does it get better? Did you find someone who treated you better? How was the healing/detachment process?