Advice?

Its so hard..

having 3 kids with your first love.

Loving a person for so long and just slowly feeling distance between us.

Im reminding myself ..

stress , depression , money..

could be signs of what is causing this.

One income family so definitely financially struggling.

But then it could also be

Weed , falling out of love with each other ..

Once the weed was out of the picture there was hardly any arguing. Now that its back it has been consistent.

Arguing , disagreeing, negativity, no communication .. just lonely.

No jokes , no short conversations just talking to each other having a good time.. (without the back n forth bickering) no random hugs or kisses. No encouragement or any words of support , as if hes proud of me in the slightest.

No sexual interest either with feeling so pushed away and just lonely.

He is never smiling , never giving me random hugs or kisses .. car rides he just has a straight face. No singing , no talking .. just attitude.

never wanting to do anything with just me.

If we ever have a chance with each other he has to ruin it with a terrible mood. If he is talkative or being nice to me .. just to be sexual and try to have sex.

I absolutely hate this feeling.

I know marriage is hard.

Not technically married but pretty much , just without the papers.

Been together 8 years.

I know times get hard and you have to push through.

Just waiting for the breakthrough.

Im trying to get a job to help.

But Ive been a stay at home mom over 5 years. I just don’t think it should feel like this even during hard times