i’m at a loss..

i’m 24 and have experienced depression for more than half of my life now. except now it’s different…

it’s not the drowning self harm suicidal ideation type of depression that i’m used to. i just can’t do life right now. i sleep 10+ hours a day. used to go to the gym 2-3 times a week. i haven’t been in over a month. and last month i only went once. i have missed several days of work because i simply can’t fathom doing that right now. i haven’t left my house in days. my body physically aches from being in bed so much. i’m 6 days in on an antidepressant. i’m hoping it starts working soon. i reached out to my mom but she says to just pray. i just feel like i will never overcome this. i don’t know what i can do right now to help myself. i don’t want to help myself. i don’t want to put in any work for anything. i just want to disappear for a while and come back when i’m myself.