My husband is dead... I'm free...

I have been in an extremely abusive marriage for 27 years and my husband died yesterday. I'm finally free. But I'm alone and want to reach out to my only child and explain myself but we haven't spoken in 5 years. I hid the abuse I was going through from my son. I wasn't the only one who my husband abused. He almost killed his gay brother because my husband hated gay people. He went to jail and never told me until I found out after we were married that he tried to strangle his gay brother and almost killed him. He had tried to strangle me before. He had told me before he doesn't regret what he did to his brother and he would do it again. This is a man who's strangled me before. When my son was 18 and doing community college my guy went through his phone and found text between him and another boy. When he came home and my husband was yelling I could tell he was going to get violent and hurt him and all I could think to do was get my son to leave. So I got in between and told my husband that he isn't worth our time. I was trying to feed into my husband's ego. That may have not been the route to go but it was all I could think of. I told my son he's not welcomed him and yelled at him to leave and told my husband he shouldn't waste one more breathe on him and I'm all that matters. I'm his wife and I'm the one who's always going to be here for him. I just wanted to keep him from getting violent and him seeing me "choose" him did keep him from getting violent. His man ego was boosted and my son left in tears. It broke my heart but I wanted to keep him safe. I never got to reach out to him because my phone's was closely monitored by my husband. I wish I could have posted any abuse on here but I knew it would get me abused more or killed. He got into a car accident and this is fucked but I decided right away to pull the plug. Maybe some people will call me a murderer but they told me he could wake up and I could decide to wait but he may not. I said to pull it. Even if he loved he may have not had a great quality of life anyway and I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life taking care of him. I'm free now. Maybe people will think I'm a monster but I'm free. I hope it's not too late to rebuild some relationships. Idek what to do with my life now. I haven't been free in almost 3 decades. I may be spending this Christmas alone but I'm hoping I can rebuild what my husband destroyed.

Edit: I did not disown my husband for my husband. I had him leave to keep him safe. This is a man who strangled his own brother for being gay. Who tried to strangle me. I did what I did so my child wouldn't end up dead.

Edit2: Chantelle if you seriously think I wanted to be with this man then you didn't read anything I said. Saying I could have walked away means you obviously don't know about numerous women who have been killed doing just that. This is a man who tried to kill me when he strangled me. If you think it didn't kill me to make him leave. You seriously think I would have rather feared for my life every day then be with my own kid. I'm so happy you've never been in my situation. If it was as easy as walking away I would have.