My bf told me he’d break up with me if I do something wrong but a few days ago he told me he’s going to propose to me next year…is this manipulation??

I told him that this made me confused and that I don’t like being threatened with a breakup and that he’s being inconsistent. He said he’s just telling the truth and that if I do something that breaks his trust he won’t hesitate to break up with me. I’m like yes obviously if either of us cheat on each other it’s over, but it should go without saying, and I told him it was confusing how he was able to make such a grand gesture of love and then a few days later tell me how easy it can be to end it all. He told me I am the one that has the power to change how he feels.

This came up because I’m about to visit some close friends he knows very well but recently learned that I was once involved with one of my friend’s brother. My bf won’t be able to join me and I assured him that the guy won’t be there and I even offered to get confirmation from my friend, which led him to say that if he finds out the guy is going to be there and I didn’t tell him, he won’t hesitate to break up with me and will even call my mom himself to tell her. I understand it would be upsetting and I wouldn’t blame him for being upset, frankly, I’ve been avoiding any situation where that guy might show up too, but him flipping the script so easily, idk how it makes me feel? I was so happy when he told me he’d propose. Now he’s being cold and told me we’ll speak when I come back. I feel like he goes cold/deadpan whenever I go out with my friends and he’s not there with me. He expects updates but doesn’t show affection and gets upset if I leave anything out and expects an explanation. He says it’s all out of protection but why does he have to be so cold and non-affectionate too?? To me he sounds insecure and untrusting and I want to help him feel secure so I check in with him often and update him often. I don’t mind it because I want him to know I’m safe but I feel like he spirals when he loses control of a situation and then he’s unable to show affection?? I feel like I can understand where he’s coming from but at the same time sometimes I feel like his actions are manipulative, but I could be overthinking. What do you guys think?