I teally hope my bf isnt about to propose to me…

I’m about to sound like an ungrateful bitch and i can’t help it im just being honest. If you feel I’m being an ungrateful bitch please word it nicely, I’m already overwhelmed enough, i don’t need to also feel bad about myself

I love my boyfriend, im waiting to get engaged and i can’t wait to marry him

Recently he suggested an idea to do something and EVERYONE is telling me they think he is going to propose because what he said is so out of the ordinary for him

He wants to get dressed up and have pictures taken

I agree it’s out of the ordinary because my boyfriend NEVER wants to take pictures, instead he just takes them with me if it’s a special occasion and i beg him

The thing is, I’ve always told him that when i get proposed to i want someone to capture a photo so we can remember it forever and i suppose that was the only detail he retained because he took that and ran with it

And ughhh i hate typing this because i feel like i sound ungrateful and awful but the idea he has planned — it’s just not an ideal proposal to me

First let me stress, i don’t know if he’s proposing to me so i could be overthinking for no reason. It’s truly the people around me that are insisting that he’s going to ask me to marry him but if he IS proposing then that’s where the following apply

He booked us a photo taking session at jc penny and if it were family photos, Christmas pictures, school photos, etc id be fine but, listen to me, i HATE the way i look in studio lights. I’d overlook it for a silly little Christmas card that only parents would see but for a photo that i want to tattoo onto my forehead, it’s not ideal.

Obviously that thought would’ve never crossed his mind because he doesn’t think about lighting so im not mad at him but I just think studio lights make me look oily and unflattering and it’d be better if i knew how to do make up but i don’t have makeup nor do i know how to do it so now im just anxious that ill hate the way i look

And secondly, i really really hate that i sound like a bitch but ideally i wouldn’t get engaged…at jc penny. Whenever i imagined my proposal, i imagined it being somewhere special, like where we met or first kissed, or like on our first vacation or at the northern lights or at a place that is meaningful to us. Jc penny…is a store. It has no significance to either of us nor is it like romantic. And we’d be in a confined space with a stranger, so it wouldn’t be intimate

And thirdly, i hate the dress he picked out for me. He tells me he loves it and that i look so beautiful in it but i don’t like it at all. Ironically it came from my closet but it’s been sitting there for years and ive never worn in. I’m very petite and “cutesy” and the dress he selected is a long, black body con that shows off one’s figure. I do not have a figure. Why did i buy this dress It doesn’t suit my physique or my personality, I’m more fun skirts and sparkles and cat ears and the dress is more like something a sleek, sexy woman would wear and that’s just not who i am. The dress makes me look like a 14 year old who is trying to look mature

When all is said and done, i don’t know if he’s proposing but if he does obviously I’m going to be happy. Hopefully and perhaps, too happy to think about anything else.

What truly matters is that we are happy and in love. But I’m just such a hopeless romantic. You only get proposed to once (well not always but still) and i just want to look back and remember being engaged as one of the happiest moments of my life, not as something where i hated how i looked and was awkwardly confined in a small space with a stranger and their camera at a store in the mall