help!!!

Okay so, i’m into some really bdsm style, pain inflicting onto me, no oxygen freaky type of stuff, and lately me and my boyfriend have been experimenting with belts and semi- public stuff (only at night in empty car parks when no one is around) and choking as well as degrading and praising. now this is all stuff i’m used to, my exes (who were all fucking idiots and traumatised me multiple times) and I used to do this. But with him it’s different. I’m literally so inlove with him so it makes the sex 10x better, and he knows how to find a clit soooo. Anyways, i’ve noticed everytime we get into the freaky shit after i tend to slip into a sort of headspace or mood? where all i want is to be with him, i feel like a literal child, and i just want to be babied. i know ddlg is a thing but ive never been the type of person to ever be into that and I don’t tend to want to be babied due to intimacy issues. I don’t know what it is and how do i speak to him about it?

Anyone help