Husband can’t perform basic house tasks

We both worth full-time jobs, but my husband still severely lacks in taking initiative at home with basic chores. He won’t initiate anything unless I explicitly ask him to. This week he had the day off from work, and I was working late. I came home to find absolutely nothing done, as well as the same lovely pile of dishes in the sink from the night before when I cooked dinner. I’ve been working on voicing my needs much more often, and explaining to him the way it makes me feel when I’m forced to delegate tasks to him. I’ve even told him it makes me feel like his mother. So I’ve tried any and all approaches. I’ve backed off and gave him space so I can see what he’d do without “nagging”. I’ve told him that it takes the weight off of me when I still have to grocery shop, meal plan, and cook, etc. Anything and everything.

So after explaining to him that it makes me feel neglected and stressed when things aren’t done at all, especially when he has more time, he did the dishes. Unfortunately they were done half-assed when I came back into the kitchen. Dirty pots were still on the stove, sink wasn’t cleaned out, and half of the dishes in the dishwasher had hard food on them that would never come off in the cycle. I basically redid them all. He’s done this before, and I’ve explained to him why it’s important to scan his surroundings for anything else and to also pre-rinse.

Am I crazy to feel like this is a major deal breaker? I feel like I’ve tried everything. From patience and understanding to being extremely blunt and visibly upset. It’s taking a toll on my mental health knowing I can’t rely on my life partner to complete basic tasks or initiate any housework.