cheated on 2 weeks postpartum

he was so good to me during my 3rd trimester. i had preeclampsia and had a stressful trimester. he helped w everything said hed never do anything to hurt me ever again then said that after birth bc he watched me birth his son.

come to find out this girl asks me if we still tg and obvs we are so i say yes but she wouldnt give answers. i tell him n he denies anything n gets defensive af when i say i thought i can trust u blah blah. my cousin knows the girl and the girl told her everything i guess. ANYWAYS. i guess the day AFTER he did this whole speech on how he love me and (he got tattoo of our anniversary WHILE he was talking to her) he ends up hanging out with her, smoking, on his lunch break. i had no idea:(. but he denies everything my cousin told me so i looked thru his phone and found the evidence myself.

they were talking all the time and she sent him underwear pics, theyd say i love you?? for talking for 2 weeks..? hed say how he wants to eat her up and have sex, he even said they should get a hotel and kick it there for a day. HE EVEN told her that he has full custody of our son? she was confused cuz how and said cuz im "retarded" (sorry for using the word im saying wht he wrote her.) Mind you he lives in my house that me and my family own, but he told her he lives here with his brother and my dogs.. i have 3 dogs and my son now. but im just writing this bc now hes like sayinf he wants 4 kids and keeps talking abt our future. after all this happened he posted pictures on fb of our son and him and I and how much he loves both of us. He put were in a relationship on fb and like told me how much he fucked up and how he doesnt want to lose me how he cant bc he cant live without me bc im his everything. i just dk how if u love someone u can do that behind their back. especially postpartum after goong thru hard pregnancy and surgery bc my placenta wouldnt come out. we felt so close after i gave birth. this shit runs through my mind all the time and he expects me to just get over it? ik i stayed and cant theow it in his face all the time but its all i see in my head what hes said to her. like he doesnt even text me that way. and this girl has a man herself whos in prison. so they both dc apparently if they in relationships. hes honestly done this to me while i was pregnant. twice hes hung out with 2 other women. hes hurt me so much and i just dont leave. idk whats wrong with me. idk what to do or if what hes saying now is real. he textdd my dad how he wants to find a better job to support our family. he seems like hes trying but why do that to me if u want a bigger family with me? he wants me to get pregnant again soon to have kids close in age and i just had my baby in december.

his reason for doing what he did is ; he was bored it doesnt mean anything he dgaf about her and he was looking for something i wasnt giving him ?? like i just went thru a shitty pregnancy cuz of you, i was hospitalized once before induction finding out i had preeclampsia, and had to get induced even earlier than my induction date, had a retained placenta, our baby was in the NICU for 3 weeks and was also healing from giving birth and dealing with all the post partum shit? like what tf is wrong with you?

i just could never hurt him the way hes hurt me bc when i love someone the last thing on my mind is flirting with somebody else? idgaf about nobody else but the person im with. its him. weve been together since 2018 and 3 of them he was in prison he was released in 2024. hes always saying how i dont respect him Nd im not the best to him. but i am a good girlfriend. i think i just lowkey resent him for every shitty thing hes done to me and idk im just still hurt. this shit haunts me and i even dream abt him basically hating me Nd dream he dont love me. my unconscious mind fucks w me just as much as my conscious mind does.