Am i the asshole?

So am I the asshole or not?

I am struggling to hold down my relationship and friendships and my job.

So my partner 34, I usually see at least 5 or 6 times a week. It’s always after work, I stay down at his as it’s 1hr and 15 from my house.

My friends both 24F, have said I see him two much and they don’t see their partners that much. They also think I am neglecting them and have pulled me on it, saying I need to make more effort on my side.

Whenever I make effort or plan things, I’m always given “dunno, ask them, can’t see that far ahead, you know I work a full time job and have so much to do” or they pull out cause they don’t want too.

Which I’m usually super understanding. Recently, I haven’t had time to see anyone I feel really bad and I apologise to them, they said I’m forgetting about them because I’m not sticking to plans,(when my friends make plans they don’t usually provide times of the event) or I have plans made and promised see them and they never happen, (they usually stop the plans if they feel Its bot gonna work).

One of them suggested we stop meeting cause I’m not available no more.

So we had arrangements to meet this week at 5pm to meet, but I needed to see family before, so I messaged in saying that I would meet after I was in seeing family and what time would be handy and I’d meet them up in town. I ass

They didn’t respond back to me.

So I assumed it wasn’t continuing and made other plans to see my partner.

They messaged me today saying they knew I was with him and they thought it wasn’t fair I forgot about them and he should be more caring to make sure I meet them when I make plans.

So I haven’t messaged back, don’t know what to say. Just shook because I wouldn’t be like that, I don’t want to fall out over a man.

My mum says these things happen, people grow a part.