Thoughts on this family issue?

I’m wondering what other people would do or would advise me to do. I’m just having mixed feelings about my sister and parents right now and this situation contributed to it.

My sister and I aren’t extremely close, we don’t really get together outside of family gatherings with our parents and some extended family. But still, we’re sisters, and my mom sees us as very close because I think she wishes we were. My sister is very type A, not very emotional. I’m kind of type A but more type B but I’m less focused on career/money (I do have a job as a professional engineer so I’m not a freeloader) and more on family/gardening/introverted.

Anyway, her fiance proposed in September 2023. They scheduled their wedding for October 2024. My fiance proposed May 2024, and we wanted to get married right away. Ideally an elopement but we didn’t want to exclude our parents, so we decided to invite just parents, siblings and grandparents for a total of 19 people. We wanted to get married and start trying for a baby right away for various personal reasons. The wedding wasn’t so important to me, vs. the actual marriage and starting our family. I wanted to have our ‘wedding’ that summer but in consideration of my sister and just logistics we decided on January 2025.

My sister and I were each others maids of honor. I planned and hosted her bachelorette (party bus to vineyards, handmade gift bags, all the things) and co-planned/hosted her shower with our mom and sisters MIL & SIL. I went to all of the dress appointments and fittings, venue tours, all the things. I gave a speech in front of 150 people and I was so scared. In no way was my own wedding planning in the way of me participating in her wedding, and I didn’t expect her to do anything for mine given the timeline and the low-keyness of mine (we got our cake from a grocery store and most of the stuff was planned in-house by the venue), and she didn’t do anything besides go to a vineyard with my mom, grandma and me for my ‘bridal shower’ where she complained about how long it took my mom to pick out my gift at the mall the weekend before and gave everyone the silent treatment on the drive there because my mom was running late and asked my sister to call the vineyard to ask to hold our reservation (sister refused in order to ‘teach my mom a lesson’).

Despite all of this, my parents were so mad that my wedding was 3 months after my sisters, and that I was having such a small wedding. They said weddings are used to bring the extended family together (the people they trash talk constantly..). They sat my fiance and I down multiple times and tried to convince us to change the date, calling me selfish, telling me to consider my sister, my mom cried multiple times, etc. I actually announced I was pregnant right around my wedding day (happened a little early lol) and my mom’s response was ‘well you were determined to be the first at something’ (meaning my sister ‘beat me’ to getting married so I got her back by ‘beating her’ to having a baby..)

I’m not sure exactly what I’m looking for here but needed to vent and put this out there. Has anyone experienced a similar overlap in timeline? Was it that selfish for me to have my micro-wedding close to my sisters?