Do I convince my bf to change his values? or breakup?

Question

We are so compatible, our personalities come together in a way that is so perfect. However, when it comes to the real stuff… there’s some misalignment. 
We started dating as teenagers and now we’re in our early 20s. Our morals and values and what we wanted in life were so similar up until this year. I feel my opinions changing and his as well. We no longer want the same things in life. (He wants to get married young, buy a house in his town, and have kids young. I want to move away, focus on my career and friends, then have kids when i’m ready) 
I just don’t know what to do. He’s my bestfriend and I know NO relationships are perfect. But I feel myself building resentment when he tries to convince me to follow his life choices.
My friends are telling me to try to convince him to follow MY life choices instead but it feels kind of wrong. I know I could for sure influence him in my direction but it feels wrong. Like if he wants to settle down right away he deserves the chance to do that… but not with me.
And other than that problem… we are very compatible so idk what to do. I feel like trying to convince him to follow what I want is the only way to stay with him. 
I need big sister advice because I’m so stuck. Hes my bestfriend. :(

Answer

I honestly think if either of you try to convince the other to follow what you want, both of you are going to hold resentment. It might be for the best to break up in this situation. You might be compatible in some ways but marriage, kids, etc. and the timing of those things are big things to be incompatible about

Answer

I broke up with someone who I got along with super great because we had religious differences we just couldnt resolve when it came to discussions of raising kids. It was hard but for the best. I dont think you need to convince him to do it your way, more sit down and say look I love you but this may not be fair to either one of us. See if you can come up with a compromise, for example move to a suburn near a major city thats still driveable for you to go to work and still a driveable distance from his family. Maybe have kids in a few years but sooner than you expected if hes willing to be the primary caregiver while you work on your career. Neither of you will get exactly what you want, but honestly that happens in life sometimes regardless of what we plan. If that still sounds miserable to either of you then you may just not be compatible and it's best to part ways.

Answer

It's not fair to ask someone to change their life goals. You both have great aspirations but you're incompatible. I would say break-up.

Answer

I was in a similar situation, was with my first love from 12-21. We were very compatible and as deep in young love as you could possibly be. We got to a point where I wanted to move in and start a life together and he went in a phase of doing what his parents wanted him to do instead of following his own dreams so ultimately we both decided to go separate ways. We remained good friends for years but I haven’t spoken to him in a little over a year now. I have the life I wanted (married w/ kids) and he’s still living freely so we just drifted apart. They have this quote that says “if you love something let it go, if it’s meant for you, it will come back.” Or something like that lol, just let him go.

Answer

No, you shouldn’t try to change his goals, and he shouldn’t try changing yours. If you don’t see it working, move on and focus on your goals so he can tk

Answer

You both could sit down and have a discussion that ends in a compromise.

Answer

break up but try to remain platonic friends. you want wildly different things and neither of you should try to change the other person.

Do I convince my bf to change his values? or breakup?

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