Feeling Worthless

Not sure where to post but I feel awful. I haven’t seen my boyfriend in awhile because we had a broken up for about a week. I blocked him a week before I had an abortion, he ends up reaching out to me & tells me to unblock him & he wants to talk. Fast forward we see each other last night and we were about to have sex but for some reason I was nervous Iguess because I hadn’t seen him in awhile so I was being awkward. It ended up being an argument & I just said I would go home.. he lashes out & it just shakes me to the core. He starts saying how he shouldn’t have to beg for p*ssy & basically throws a tantrum so at this point I’m so turned off. As I was walking out he accuses me of cheating and said I must be f*cking another man & I just continued to let him yell because of my previous dv situation, once voices are raised I get quiet so I won’t egg it on and get hit. He then starts to say he know I was cheating because one day he slid in and I wasn’t tight, I really became frustrated and started crying because where would I find the time between the pregnancy & recovery after abortion? Any other time I was always on the phone or with him. He then tells me to get on the bed and I better be tight or it’s going to be a problem. I was hesitant but foolish enough I did it and I feel so bad about it, I didn’t want to have sex with him anymore .. I just wanted to go home and never speak to him again. I felt worthless with him on top of me.