TW is this abusive/ controlling

I'll try to keep this short, I'll edit if anyone has questions.

Im married, we own our house together. If I want to buy something for the house for example a thrown pillow , a toothbrush holder , a kit hen utensil like a spatula , a mug, towels, wall decor, picture frame, etc (big stuff too but I'm giving examples showing how it's even the smallest of things) I need to ask my husband first on every single item. We both have jobs and contribute, he makes more money because I work part time so I can take care of our child (he wants this). So I'm not asking him to buy these things , I would be buying them. But if I want to buy anything at all I have to ask him first and he has to 'research' each item and then he will send me ones that HE likes better, different brands colors etc or he will just say no. He says we have to agree on every single thing that is in a shared space.

I can't just go to HomeGoods and say oh I like that candle , oh that's a nice bowl , oh that throw pillow would look nice I have to take a picture and show him and see if i can get it. When I told my husband this feels extremely controlling and overwhelming he said in disrespect I and I need to understand that a shared space needs to be fully agreed upon. And I'm not asking for anything crazy just normal things we all buy.

Sometimes a friend of family member will gift me something like a picture frame or something for the house like a blanket or some kind of decor and he will get so angry and I'll have to either not put the item out or I'll have to put it away and never display it. I have a box of items I've been given that I cant put out.

So clarify in case people ask I keep in extremely clean , not cluttered house. I'm very into home decor and design but obviously those are passions I cannot really get into because he has to approve of and change e everything I show him. He gets extremely angry many times when I bring anything up like oh we need new kit hen towels and hes like oh great now I have to shop around for the best ones or we redo a room and I want a new shelf it will take days or weeks of constant searching for him to finally be ok with one.

I feel abused I feel controlled. It's the same with my hair he won't tell me I'm not allowed to change my hair but he will tell me he hates it every single day until I change it back. Same with clothing he won't say no but he will call a shirt ugly until I stop wearing it