Miscarriage

Never knew thought this could happen to me. Recently tested positive on the 11th of this month no symptoms just tested out of curiosity my body was feeling a tad bit different. Got 2 faint positives. Everything was fine until the 14th I was bleeding with very mild cramps though maybe I wasn’t pregnant could’ve been my period. The next day on the 15th I was still bleeding a bit more worse and way stronger cramps plus when I woke up had morning sickness so bad I couldn’t move from the toilet . I went to the hospital just to confirm if I was pregnant. Come to find out I had a miscarriage. Absolutely took me back just because we tried for 3 years and nothing ever happened and when I least expected it to happen it did. Now I’m personally dealing with pp depression so what my ob has told me. It’s very hard you have love and support everywhere a loving warm partner but somehow feel depressed and lonely. I hate feeling like this it’s such a devastating experience. Makes me lose hope for any future pregnancies. It also breaks my heart that I dream of a baby boy in my dreams , no face just his hair his baby blue blanket and the most precious laugh I could ever imagine. I truly believe that’s my boy. Since Mother’s Day is coming it makes me so sad because I was almost a mother. Not many people understand what I mean by that. I don’t even know if I would even count myself has a mom. So mad and angry with my body for not being able to do the one job it’s meant to do. Am I the only one with this problem or am I being too hard on myself? 😭💔