First of all, I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing to give parents money because I’m definitely not familiar with that (please note I am not referring to birthday gifts or anniversary gifts or celebratory reasons).

Next thing I want to say is before we got married, finances were discussed (and they are still discussed now as we purposely set aside two dates a month to talk about money, saving, spending, paying down things, all that).

However the subject of giving money to parents was only a split second conversation (and it revolves around birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, again celebratory related reasons or occasions).

My husband apparently gave his mother money monthly (before we were together - and no this never came up in the finances discussions before we were married) and the reason for this was simply because she’s his mother and she raised him. To me this was a strange concept - I mean I pay a landscaper to mow my lawn - I don’t pay my mother for being my mother? I’m truly not trying to sound like a brat here in saying it’s your parent’s responsibility to care for you without expecting anything in return.

Added side note that may or may not be relevant to forming your opinion. But his mother chose to never work and ever since I’ve known her, complains she doesn’t have money while appearing to frivolously spend her husbands money (she is always travelling and buying people gifts even though she has never worked).

After being married and the topic of giving his mother money came up again - I said no - because he has limited us, our spending, trying to be savvy with money, pay off debt, prepare for our future, etc and that it was unreasonable for us to give up small luxuries like eating out occasionally so he could give his mother money. I also tried to switch the roles - suggesting whatever amount he gave his mother to also give my mother - and he said no we can’t afford that ironically.

To make this even better, his mother is complaining to him and asked him why he doesn’t give her money anymore and she is offended that her sons wife doesn’t agree with it. I work for my money. Enough of it goes to taxes. I would like to be able to not depend on my children to live and invest in our future not hers. It isn’t my job or my husbands job to fund her - sorry but in my opinion that is her job and her husbands job. She could have worked. Her husband is her spouse who is supposed to support her. Is it on us? I don’t think so.