Should I marry him?

Question

Good morning, everyone! So I’ve been dating my partner for almost 5yrs now. We’ve been talking about marriage for the last year and I was willing and ready to marry him until last year. We got in a heated argument that led to him telling me he had a vasectomy ￼years ago. Now, prior to this argument he NEVER told me anything about it. 5yrs with him knowing I wanted at least 1 child and he NEVER told me. Granted, he has 3 kids already and I have none. He constantly told me it was reversible during the argument, but I’m not sure if we should still get married. That secret was a HUGE one to keep and with him knowing I want to be a mother, I just can’t wrap my head around why he wouldn’t tell me. Now, I’m stuck because I don’t know if I should move forward with the marriage or not.

Answer

Absolutely not. If he knew you wanted kids and withheld that information he just wasted 5 years of your life. I find that cruel and sick on his part.

Answer

Whats his reason for not telling you? That would be a red flag for me. Not just about the vasectomy itself, but if he feels like lying by omission or keeping important things that effect the other person a secret is ok, I would wonder if that mindset/justification would transcend to other areas as well. 5 years is a long time to not mention that to you.

Answer

That’s super weird he would keep it from you for 5 years. That would bother me a lot but if it’s reversible then that’s another thing. I just don’t know if I could get past the lying by omission for 5+ years when he knew you wanted a baby.

Answer

That's a pretty big thing to omit for 5 years. What else hasn't he told you? Don't marry him. Don't even stay in this relationship.

Answer

That is a big thing not to share for 5 years. I’m with you

Answer

I most definitely wouldn't and I don't think that you should either. I really am so sorry that you wasted 5 years of your life. Thank God you didn't get married sooner.

Answer

While that's weird he didn't tell you I wouldn't hold that against not getting married. Maybe he was scared you wouldn't want to be with him anymore if he told you? Did he get shortly after having 3 kids or while you were dating would be a big question. If it was before you then I think it makes sense. It is reversible too so it's still possible to have children with him.

Should I marry him?

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