Frusteration with Sex Newly Married

I cannot believe I am on here writting this. I feel anxious not saying this right I just need to hear from someone. Im new to marriage married in August 2022 and sex and everything is very new... My husband and I have good sex but I feel almost resentful of him when I hear stories or watch shows where women talk about earth shattering sex. Similiar things feel very good for us and I want him to maintain a position and speed and then...he cums... We have had really good sex but it does not feel earth shattering just enjoyable. I rely completely on my vibrator to orgasm for clitoral stimulation. I cannot orgasm without it he does not make me orgasm IT does. That is upsetting. I masterbated for years getting to orgasm by rubbing my clit but my husband is 6 inches and I cant rubbing my clit on my palm and have him in me while I am on my stomach. My fantasies of sex were very unrealistic I realize that now. Wish I masterbated another way...I Have really dumb orgasms too.. like sometimes it just feels like a release not like this body numb after shaking thing... or it feels scary because its too strong. More like a squirting sensation that is not enjoyable just a feeling of losing control without much pleasure... Sex is not what I imagined... it is not easy to get to that laying on back going WOW experience shown in the movies.IM actually pitying myself... it is sad that I pity myself at times..IM kinda scared to have sex now because I do not want that dissapointment after. I let my husband know its been good very good but not earth shattering yet. He said its because when something feels very good for me it feels very good for him and he finishes. I worry this "just good" sex is not normal... we do missionary, downward dog, my fav position is the vibrator under while I have him on the edge of the bed... thats the closet to the palm rubbing while on my stomach position. I find it easier to orgasm if I am masterbating. Sex feels like a chore with another person... he also does not talk during sex much. I let him know I need that but unfortunatley he does not live up to my erotica I write and my mind in which he says all these smooth sexy things...I do not even know what advice to ask. I just want to stay hopeful for my sex life. I am worried. I fear talking to my newly married friend about sex with my husband would be putting my husband to shame. He would be with me,her and her husband in the future to double date and I just would hate to embaress him by her just knowing whats up. So I am now talking to strangers...ALso the movies never showing after sex clean up just people sleeping after or waking up. Nothing about paper towels, towels put in wash and needing to pee after to avoid UTI's XD