Edit: I’ve been ttc with other bfs. Throughout 10 years he told me he wasn’t ready for kids yet. So we weren’t trying. But ig he was trying with someone else. Oh well. I lost again. Same story every relationship

My boyfriend called me and asked me if I was pregnant… Because he’s been extra tired lately and sleeping all the time…

I’m on my period. Day 3 to be exact…

He just was cheating on me with two other women. Each have children so, they’re definitely fertile where as I’m not. I’ve been ttc off and on for over 10 years. He knows this. I just expressed to him how hurt I was to hear my cousin was pregnant for the 4th time…

I immediately shut down on him put my phone on dnd told him I was cool on him and congratulated him.

After that I went into the bathroom to shower. I shower when I’m upset. I slid down the wall and began to hysterically cry and scream “why me” then I began to choke and throw up as well. Like life has been so fucked up for me. I lost my job, he cheated on me.. I still haven’t found a new job, Im struggling in every way and now this… I honestly don’t want to go on. I want to leave. I begged to not wake up in the morning. I don’t see my life getting any better. I haven’t been happy in so long. I haven’t felt love from anyone. I haven’t felt important or anything. I just feel like I’m here for no reason. Im in a bad place and he’s making it worse.

He called me 4 times (he thinks I cut my phone off) and texted me “I love you good night”. I don’t believe that he loves me. If he loved me he wouldn’t have cheated. He wouldn’t have put me in a situation where he could say that… he really asked me if I was pregnant knowing im on my period. Knowing he hasn’t touched me in a month… he hasn’t even been home. I’ve been alone and lonely for weeks.

Im not ok.