Alone

I have never been the emotional type but I'm going to put all this down to hormones. So I'm getting myself in a state because I see on here all you guys haveing amazing baby showers and I have literally 0 friends or anyone that would even consider throwing me a shower. I don't need anything for my baby so please don't think I just want it for the gifts I just want to feel like I have people around me who care I just want something possative during this pregnancy. It's been the worse experience of my life and I feel so alone. Iv wanted a baby since a loss 7 years ago and I feel terrible saying it but I hate been pregnant I feel no connection with this baby at all and have no one to talk to and nothing positive happening in my life. Even if I throw myself a shower (sad I know) I don't even think anyone would turn up. Iv had no response from any of my 'friends' over the holidays... Or for the past 3 months really. No merry Christmas no nothing. Tonight is New Year's <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> for god sake and I'm laid in bed at 9.20pm on my own starting at the wall with nothing to do and no one to even text or call or talk to in any way while my OH is at the pub with all his friends celebrating. I'm so lonely I post on here regularly just for some kind of communication with other people. How has my life got this sad and pathetic