Trying to starve myself but im getting sick

So everyone calls me fat, i am fat but i love myself… but im thinking thats why my baby daddy left me he said i was a fat lazy bitch and went for a skinny girl💔.. so im trying to ear less or skip meals but im getting sick headache nauseated.. trembling anxiety… nervous… etc idk. I had a baby last year in march and in 2020 so yesh my body is going through things and i got fat