Too scared

So i've recently turned 18...me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly four years since we were 14. He seems to be more sexually ready than i am and although we've had a conversation about me being uncomfortable with sexual things right now, i want to wait another year or two before losing my virginity. I love him so much but i'm just too worried and scared about certain aspects. These include : How i'll react in sex and if he'll like it, how much it may be painful or how much i'll bleed, whether he'll still love me afterwards, how awkward it could be before during and after. I had a talk with someone else...and i'm starting to think i may be waiting too long and he could be getting impatient. I just don't want to rush myself but i don't want to deprive him of something he wants with me, just once at least. But i'm just too scared...we're supposed to be going on holiday together early next year and because of sleeping in the same bed i have a feelinf he may think it's the time but i don't know if i want to...any tips? I'm trying to get myself comfortable to possibly have my first time on the holiday but i'm not sure.