This is so embarrassing! But I need advice

I had my first child 3 years ago, he was a difficult delivery. Vacuum & 4th degree tear. PP care was easy but around the time it came for my 6w cc I noticed feces would be in my vaginal cavity after a bowel movement. I bought this up to my ob & she said it was normal to try to do kegel exercises & I did the situation was still the same, & they suggested the same thing did not take me serious basically. I had my second child last year easy delivery with a 1 degree tear but my situation has worsened. & I’m currently 6m pregnant and scared to deliver again…I want to bring this up to my husband but I’m so embarrassed the lack of concern I received when I first voiced my concern shut me down completely and did 3 years I’ve just tried to stay clean on my own, I shower after every BM, use wipes etc etc but it still happens I don’t know what to do or say. I did do my research when I first noticed it & it basically said my delivering dr could’ve missed a stitch or 2 & I feel this is why my ob will not look into it. What do I do!