Hey moms. 18 months postpartum. Our double rainbow miracle baby is perfect. Beyond gorgeous, super amazingly intelligent, very advanced, pretty chunky, and full of life . Pregnancy with her was hell. HG sent me through it all 9 months, had to quit working because i was so weak, could t keep food or drinks down, lost 10 pounds in the first 2 months, my skin was constantly in

Pain head to toe because i have eczema and the dehydration from pregnancy revenged my skin. I felt like i was dying except i had this little life inside of me. All of this left my husband who was in the middle of very intense fire fighter/emt training to support everything…. I guess he wasn’t quite in the place to do that mentally soooo…. He left for a couple months…… which really made me want to die but i had this baby in my tummy and my 6 year old at the time that needed me since dad left. I never told him that dad left, he would come home often but never stay, i just told our son that daddy was working a lot. I haven’t quite mentally gotten to the point where i feel healthy and useful. I don’t feel beautiful. I’m trying my best. This economy sucks.

Most importantly i seem to find myself 7 weeks pregnant and suffering from HG again. I don’t feel good at all ever. My skin hurts so bad again. Can’t eat or drink. Too weak to work. I’m so scared for my marriage . I don’t want this baby. And i feel so bad that every thing my now 8 year old does drives me crazy. Like he’s a good kid, age appropriate, super smart. But i can’t stand for him to be in my face. Ugh and i don’t want to be pregnant.

I need help. And therapy.