What do I do if my fiancé skips my grandmothers birthday weekend?

Question

My whole extended family is coming to visit for my grandmothers birthday. They’re staying over Fri-Sunday and we’re headed to an event on Saturday. 
I told my fiancé of this and he said it was also his grandfather’s birthday weekend so he’d be going home if they chose that weekend to celebrate. I let my mom know and she got a bit mad and said she hoped they wouldn’t pick that weekend knowing we had this set in advance. I didn’t care. I don’t know what weekend they chose. 
Today my fiancé lets me know he’s busy with work and he won’t be social when my mom and brother come to stay with us(my grandmothers birthday weekend). We have dinner Friday, the event Saturday and her birthday dinner that night. My mom will be upset if he skips the weekend to work because he always works. 
What do I do?

Answer

Tell your mom to get over it and leave him alone.

Answer

Well the world doesn't revolve around your mom. Stop letting her run the show in your lives.

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Sounds like he’s working hard to give you a good life. 
Plus, the weekend isn’t about him. It’s about your grandmother. There’s no need for anyone to be upset over this. 
You can communicate that you wish he was involved. But if work needs to be done, you need to respect that. If he’s choosing work to avoid the weekend, talk with him to find out why. Does he have a work life balance plan? Is he working his butt off now so that once y’all are married with kids he can work less?

Answer

I get why you might feel upset. If he was choosing not to go to you're grandmother's bd dinner, because its also his grandfather's bd...then that would be understandable.. but him choosing to take extra work to avoid your family and not attend your grandmother's bd dinner that he knew 6 months in advance is upsetting. You need to talk to him calmly and ask him why he isnt wanting to attend a family event? Also, tell him how you feel about it. Just talk about it in a respectful way and figure out whats going on and if you guys can find a compromise or at least understand his pov in this situation. I hope everything works out.. Good luck!!

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Well, you can't force him to do it. So I guess I would try to get through my feelings about it and move on with the weekend without him. ￼

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It isn't mom's relationship and she honestly has no say. Needs to get over herself.

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Let her be angry. Your fiancé is an adult with his own life. He doesn’t owe your mother anything. It’s a birthday party. If he doesn’t want to attend, he shouldn’t be made to.

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What do you mean what do you do? You stick up for your fiancé. That’s part of being married, is being a team. Yes you each have your own family but when you get married you’re creating your own family which should take priority. Not only that but  why should he care about your family event if his family event wasn’t considered? I’m sorry, I’m completely on your husbands side. It sounds like a headache to deal with your mom and I’d rather be at work too.

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Why should he be subjected to attend your family event if he also has a family event of his own. Let each do their own family event please and don’t catch feelings.

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Assuming even if he’s working he will still see them if they are staying with you. 
Don’t think you can moan at him for working unless he’s purposely doing it to avoid your family for no reason.
Could you try and compromise and he do 1 day out of the three or is just present in the evening if he is home and available

What do I do if my fiancé skips my grandmothers birthday weekend?

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