Gone after 14 years

I literally don’t know where else to turn to. The man I have been with for 14 years, married to for 9, have 3 beautiful kids with, one angel baby and two baby girls has officially decided to leave me. I am 100% completely and totally broken. I love this man more than anyone could ever imagine. I don’t know what to do with myself. I am so full of anxiety that I can’t sleep. I can’t eat, I literally haven’t eaten in three days, not a single bite of anything. My heart is so broken that I literally do not know what I’m going to do. I cannot stand myself. Seriously. It hurts so bad that it’s to the point I can’t physically stand myself. My anxiety is about to eat me alive as well. I keep running thru scenarios in my head about how I can beg him to stay, that he’s just joking and he’s really going to stay. I need help, I am seriously on the verge of a mental breakdown, completely. I’m so scared. I do want to add, I am NOT suicidal, I don’t mean it that way.

How am I suppose to not talk to/see the man I’ve talked to every single day for 14 years? How am I supposed to be strong enough to let go. To not mis him every single second of every single day? He says he still loves me and he still cares about me but he can’t be with me anymore.

Y’all, even as I’m writing this my anxiety is so high I feel like I’m about to coke out of my skin.