Afraid to enjoy pregnancy after two losses :(
I am 27 years old and on March 18, 2015 I lost my son at 18 weeks pregnant. I dialated early and doctors determined that it was due to an incompetent cervix. That was a devastating loss that I am still dealing with and healing from. Three months later I discovered that I was six weeks pregnant however, the day after I found out I had a miscarriage. That was traumatic as well however, since the pregnancy was so early and I had only known for a day, I didn't take it as bad. After those two back to back losses I fell into a deep depression and feared that I would never be able to carry a baby full term. It is now January and I am 11 weeks pregnant. I have a new team of doctors and I take a progesterone suppository daily. I also will be getting a cerclage in about two weeks. I have a good feeling about this pregnancy however, I am terrified that something bad will happen. I find it hard to get excited or even celebrate my pregnancy because I do not want anything bad to happen. This sucks because I have no living children and I desperately want to enjoy my pregnancy. :( Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you deal with it? Will the nerves ever go away? I feel like I will not be truly happy until my baby is in my arms.
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