feeling anxious from time to time in my relationship

Hello! This sort of issue has come up for me time and time again and it makes me feel super guilty and sad. My boyfriend just last year moved to the same city as me (we were long distance before). This is his first time out of his home with his parents and siblings and he’s still adjusting to living on his own. I stay at his apartment from time to time but his living habits sometimes really put me off, little things like cluttered counters, clothes on the floor and such. I try my best to have grace for it but it just builds and builds until eventually i have a meltdown and cry to him that i’m afraid i’ll be stuck delegating chores and mothering him in the future despite us both being adults. He always reassures me and tries to do better but when a bit of time passes I start to feel that things have gone back to the way they were. He tells me about how he’s very busy which i know that he is, he works every week day and donates plasma every other day for extra money. The amount of hard work and time that he spends out of the house and busy is part of what makes me feel so awful about this issue that i have. It’s also his apartment and i feel that he deserves the freedom to live as he wishes and learn new habits at his own pace. I just cannot shake this constant fear that one day i’m going to end up having to do everything around the house and work at the same time. I think the most ironic bit of it is that i struggle with these habits myself when life gets tough and busy. I’m not sure if I have some sort of mental disorder or illness that is causing me to feel this way or maybe trauma but it’s always extremely intense fear and irritation. I can become extremely upset and doubt our relationship because i don’t see him pick up a few pieces of clothing off the floor, and then have a meltdown and the next second absolutely loath myself for being so unfair and unrealistic. I really am so in love with him and i want to work this issue out together so that we can be more understanding of each other. Any advice?