I (28F) found out I was pregnant a few months after getting kind of a "big break" in my career. My boyfriend (34M) and I have been together for over 4 years now. We both have great careers, a cute house, lots of animals, and an overall happy and healthy relationship. We had been talking about marriage in the next couple years, but when we found out I was pregnant, obviously we had lots of mixed emotions and thoughts. One being that we were not trying to conceive at all at that point. We were both scared but also couldn't help but shed some happy tears cause we had talked about having children quite often, but didn't know exactly when. We didn't know what we were gonna do though, as I said I had just gotten a big break in my career and I was in a dilemma of feeling like I had to choose between my career or having a baby. We talked about all the options for us. I contemplated abortion for a couple days before ultimately deciding we were gonna keep the baby. We were, and still are completely overjoyed. (starting to build nursery now!!)

A few weeks later, I went to my sister's house to tell her. I bought this adorable onesie that said "Hello Auntie" and I wrapped it up with a ribbon around it. I gave it to her, I recorded her reaction. She was over the moon excited. She cried, gave me a huge hug, asked me tons of questions, etc. I started to tell her how difficult the previous 3 weeks were keeping it from everyone and how excruciating those days were when I was considering terminating. She told me "If you had gotten an abortion, I would have never spoken to you again." I was shocked she said that. We always came from a family that were fierce champions of choice, especially about things like this. I let it go in the moment and just continued talking with her about other things. After I left and went home, I slept on it. The next morning I woke up, and it was still bothering me. I decided to text her and ask if she would have really never spoken to me again, had I made that choice. And that's when all hell broke loose.

She proceeded to tell me "Not sure how losing a second baby that close to me would've effected me emotionally. If I could have my own, it'd be different, but that would've hurt me a lot if a baby had to die and I wanted the chance to have it, which I 100% would." For context, she had a boyfriend for 6 years that was cheating on her the whole time with a hooker along with doing hard drugs, that he got pregnant, twice. I don't know what happened to the first child, but the second child was put up for adoption and apparently my sister did everything she could to "get" that baby. The baby was adopted out, so this is the second baby she was referring to that she "lost." When that situation happened to her, (a year prior to this) I was nothing but supportive, loving, and comforting towards her. I told her how hard that must have been for her to go through and that I was so sorry she went through that.

But I told her my situation wasn't her choice. That it wasn't easy to even think about making that decision, and that it was already hard enough without her telling me she would've disowned me had I made that decision. She told me it would've been hard for her not to take my potential abortion personally because I'd "rather get rid of it than let her have it because she would do a shitty job." Keep in mind, even at this point in the conversation, I was still playing nice and never said she would do a shitty job. But for more context, my sister has been on meth for the last 3 years and just in the last couple months, has been arrested and/or detained multiple times for serious crimes. She told me not to "freak out" about this and I told her that her comments were really hurtful and inappropriate.

She proceeded to tell me how the abortion conversation was really hurtful to her, and that we both need to understand that sometimes we need to switch places and be more understanding of the other person's perspective. Because if I was willing to do that, we would be able to agree on this and see where she was coming from. She asked if we could move on from this convo and I said no. I doubled down and said I was appalled that she was scolding me so harshly considering she makes her "own choices" everyday with her meth use because she's a "grown adult" and it's "her life." I told her it wasn't about her at all, and she made it all about her. And if I had known she was going to react like that, I obviously would not have said anything. Like I said, I was shocked she responded that way because she has always been Pro Choice no matter what.

She then told me that me only two options were that I either keep my baby, or I had to give my baby to her. And if I had chosen to get an abortion, our parents would disown me as well. She told me I was a shitty person for even considering it because "it's always been her dream to have kids and couldn't." She has never been to the doctor for fertility, she has never gotten treatments, she's never had a boyfriend long enough to get their sperm tested, her eggs tested or frozen, nothing of the sort. She has always just diagnosed herself as "not being able to have kids." This new found dream of her always wanting to be a mom is a brand new thing in the last 2 years. According to her, abortion is not for women in my position. Abortion is for women that are trapped and have no other alternative. And the fact that I was arguing any different made her "sick to her stomach" and now I am "withholding my pregnancy from her in a threatening manner and I have to punish her." She told me the baby isn't even here yet and I'm already weaponizing it against family members and that I was fucked up. I finally got pissed and told her I would never just hand over my baby (even if I didn't want to keep it) to her because she's on meth and her whole situation is messed up. I told her she was entitled to her thoughts and feelings and was obviously coming from a place of pain, but that I gave her a chance to apologize and she doubled down when I wouldn't move on when she wanted to. I told her the fact that she thinks she is entitled to my womb is sick and to get help. This was over a month ago and I haven't spoken to her since.

Before all this, we had only began talking again for about a year. Taking our relationship slowly because I hadn't spoken to her in 3 years because of other really messed up things she did to me, mostly publicly. This conversation with her left me questioning my sanity, my boundaries, what lengths she would go to, to get my child from me. She has called CPS on people before when she feels she's been "slighted." She has called immigration to try and get people deported back to their home countries when things haven't gone her way. She posted everywhere on Facebook that I stole money from a sick friend of ours when we thought he was going to die. This is the tip of the iceberg and I can't include any other instances otherwise other people's privacy and safety would be at stake. I'm sorry this is so long. I've debated coming here and typing it all out, out of complete fear. But, there it is. Am I wrong?

TLDR; Sister told me my only viable options were to either keep my baby, or give my baby to her to raise. She's been on meth for 3 years and told me she would never speak to me again, had I chosen an abortion.