Made a wrong move. I need to let it out

My husband and I have been generally happy. Though there are of course times that I wish he’d listen more of be more sensitive. But we’re overall happy.

I’ve been insecure about my weight gain though so I haven’t been really confident about myself lately.

I don’t really check my husbands phone. Haven’t done it and we’ve been married for over 10 years. But for some reason I felt the urge to check his messages on his iPad for the first time last night.

I saw him flirting/mild sexting with a girl. Though I could tell that it didn’t mean anything but I needed to hear that he doesn’t meet up with her.. that it was really nothing. I knew confronting him and telling him I went through his iPad will make him mad but I went for it cause I needed to hear him say that it was nothing and that he’d stop doing it.

Unfortunately, I was right about him getting mad. He did say it was nothing but he also wants a divorce cause he feels betrayed with what I did. I apologized for what I did but he still left.

I’m not sure what I want to hear. Im not even sure if I regret doing what I did but I know it was wrong and I apologized for it. But is it also wrong to feel that I deserve someone who’d forgive me for what I did… someone who won’t leave me like that and throw away our marriage just like that…. I just really hope he’d want to make it work.. but I’m also really scared that this is it