I feel horrible please don't give me hate I feel bad enough, I used to self harm and I'm having a hard time not doing it right now because that's how horrible I feel about this. I just feel like I need to talk about this, I have no one to talk about it to. I've been with my husband for 2 and a half years, we did get married young, we got married not too long ago. I do not regret marrying him, I love him, our marriage and friendship, relationship has been nothing but good, I did fuck up though recently, he does not really care surprisingly but I do. I've never really dated before him, only 1 person, I am bisexual, I've always had an attraction towards women but never experienced anything with a woman until now... I've had a good friend but she always liked me, I never had those feelings for her for years of trying to be friends with her, she'd try to ignore her feelings for me just to be friends with me nothing else because I didn't want to lose her as a friend, I loved her as a friend and I had no other friends in this town because I moved to this town in the middle of high school and seriously made no friends but her and of course my husband. But one night she pulled the first move and I didn't stop it, we then kept doing stuff. Yes I cheated on my husband and I feel terrible, your all probably like if I felt terrible I wouldn't have done it and I obviously don't love my husband at all but that's honestly wrong I love him so much I thought about him the whole time and afterwards, I guess I couldn't help my curious intentions and it just happened, I know that's not an excuse but it did and I can't take it back. I did tell my husband right when I got home, he's always known I'm bisexual. I told him everything and I apologized to him and he said he didn't care?! I'm mad that he wasn't mad at me. I asked him why and he said he'd felt sorry for me that I've never gotten to experience anything with a woman before him, he then said just don't do it again and he didn't want me to stop being friends with her because he knew she was my only friend here. But I knew we couldn't be friends even though we both wanted to be and we actually tried to, fucked enough I know, we tried to just be friends but trust me that didn't last long at all, I'm not going to lie I did like what he had done but I am ashamed of myself for it and I did start to develop feelings for her. We cut contact completely we're no longer friends. I've realized how much I love my husband. Things are still good with him it's like nothing ever happened.. but the horrible thing I'm ashamed to say is that I'm not that sexually active with him anymore, I can't help but think of just women in general in that sexual way. I feel like I like women a little bit more, physically/sexual wise, I guess, I honestly don't know I'm confused myself. But I love my husband you guys may think wrong but I know what I feel towards him. I would never leave him he's everything I want mentally/emotionally wise and yes I am attracted to him too, I couldn't imagine my life without him. I don't regret marrying him I love him. Here comes all the hate, probably shouldn't post this but I feel like I need too, I just wanted to say this and maybe this should be a punishment for me. Or I guess I'm wondering if anyone has gone through something like this and how they've delt/advice with it because idk how to. Or anyone that's bi what are your feelings for women vs men sexually wise. I feel like a shit person, I am though. Just learning from my stupid mistakes. I wouldn't do it again that's for sure and I won't.