Before I was 8 years old I was already over 100 pounds and I would gain about 20 pounds per month when I first started going through puberty. When I was about 12 I tried to maintain at a steady weight. Now I’m in my 20’s it’s harder for some reason. I don’t mind gaining weight only thing is I noticed how some of my family who’s over 400-500 pounds was having difficulty doing the most simple things then they would ridicule me for being smaller than them. I was thinking about asking my doctor about it. I do admit I had a difficult childhood and the thought of growing up and “getting bigger” sometimes upsets me due to how I was made fun of for it as a child. I try to eat as best I could yet sometimes I don’t want to have anything because in the back of my brain I get nauseous and upset of if I gain weight the comments people used to have about me would come back and overall I’m in between of wanting to be a woman and look like one yet also wanting to be a child again and look like one.