Dating Difficulties

Does anyone have a problem with dating?

It is my first time being more than friends with one of my guy friends. We decided a couple of weeks ago that we wanted to go further and start going on dates. Since then, we have gone on two dates. I’m not a fan of typical dinner dates so we decided that our dates would be walking along the river path for the first one, and then axe throwing for the second. We planned a third which will be coming up here and we are going to his place to carve pumpkins and watch halloween movies.

I grew up in an extremely tight knit family, and really still am. I love doing things with them, and don’t want to miss out on opportunities to be with them. The job profession that I am in has made me realize that spending time with family is of the utmost importance and that you can lose what you have very quickly. So, I love being with my family and rely on them to help me with decisions. With that being said, I’m honestly scared of dating. Not sure why, but I feel like I need validation from my family to continue on with my life. They completely support me but I feel like if I date or further my own personal life that in a way I am betraying them and becoming someone I feel like I shouldn’t be.

And on top of that I’m scared of intimacy, although I have no reason to be scared of it. I just fear being close to someone who is not my family. It feels so wrong, but I want a relationship, I just feel disappointed in myself and have a hard time wanting to go on more dates. It’s about time that I start getting serious in my life about life past family and work.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a great time on the dates, even though there’s that first couple dates awkwardness. I’ve talked to the guy I am dating and have told him that this entire thing is new to me and it is going to take me longer than normal to get used to everything. I just fear that I will never actually feel completely comfortable with him and okay with myself for being willing to further my life.

I’ve confused the feelings of nervousness and extreme anxiety for dates, with a feeling that I’m not sure I even want to date. I don’t think it’s fair to him that I have these ideas in my head.

What do I do?