My dad called my husband weak

My husband has been spiraling really bad lately. This all had to do with his friends. My husband has friends from when he was in middle school and they've always been close. They made music together and started a band together. I kind of felt like they take advantage of him because they would ask to borrow money but then never pay him back and when he asked for the money back they would gaslight him and make him apologize. They would do a lot of just shitty things to him but everything fell apart a month ago because my husband found out his friends were talking behind his back. Saying they don't like him. He's annoying. How he's not autistic, he's just retarded. My husband confronted them and this guy pretty much said they never saw him as a friend. They only hung out with him because they felt bad for him and he gives them money and he's a good singer for the band. That he's annoying and called him retarded to his face. Made my husband cry because these were his only friends and someone also tried to get physical with him. It was bad. They kept making music for a little while but they were awful and he quit. And they made money making music so that was a chunk of my husband's income gone. The thing is my husband was the one who trade marked the name of the band so they can't use it anymore. They were PISSED! And send some awful threats. Saying the most disgusting things. He just spiraled. He's been having mental breakdowns. It's gotten to the point he's started self harming and making himself throw up after he eats just to gain some type of self control. Things have been bad and my dad wanted us to come to his Halloween party. I told him it's not a good time. And he got mad and said that my husband is weak for crying over someone not wanting to be his friend anymore and that's elementary school stuff and he needs to man tf up and stop acting like this. I lost it and said some choice words to my dad and he was shocked and hung up on me. My step mom is saying I need to apologize. I said I will when he apologizes to my husband. Because my dad knows everything these guys have put him through. My dad said he's not apologizing and my husband is overreacting to all of this. I said them I'm not apologizing. So now he's not talking to me

Edit: My husband has autism and these were his only friends so it's hard for him to not let them have that power over him. Especially since they've been down right disgusting and have said and done awful stuff since he left this band and took the name with him.