Postpartum+Relationships

My daughter is a little over a year old, I had really bad postpartum after my pregnancy it was probably the most darkest place I’ve ever been in life. Fast forward to present I still unattached to her at times, she’s crazy about me every where I go she goes and I love our bond but sometimes I feel so bad because I don’t know if she can feel the emotional difference. I’m due any day to have another bundle of joy and it scares me what the future holds for me & my kids. I’m aware whenever my mood changes and I give myself grace but it’s hard to not too beat yourself up. I explained this to my fiancé but he just doesn’t get it and it makes things harder because who can I talk too about my feelings….