I'm broken on the inside

I am broken. The shell of a person. I tried not to let them break me but they've succeeded. I am the person who posted a few months ago about getting a job as an engineer. My parents never supported me. They wanted me to get married, have kids, and be the perfect housewife. They didn't want a daughter in a male career and said it would never work out. I got the jump. I tried to prove I could fit in and was cool. I went out to drink with several of my male coworkers just for all of them to drug and rape me behind the building.... My parents blamed me.... Said that's what I get for doing a male dominated career. I live with my deaf brother and never told him. I know everyone told me to report it, but when your own best friend tells you not to because I'll never find a job here, it just turns you away from reporting it. I didn't want to be the girl who was raped. Who was seen as marked. Who no man would ever want working with them. So I shut up and showed up to work to be taunted by these assholes until I quit. You know what's worse than being brutally raped by pieces a shit? Finding out one of those pieces of shit got me pregnant? You know what's worse than that? My doctor informing me that my state doesn't care that it was rape and I can't abort here. So I have to lie to my brother to travel out of state to have an abortion. To feel violated once more... To be seen as a monster ... I'm home. I'm jobless to the point my brother is getting annoyed. He still knows nothing. And I'm broken.... After all of this I don't think I'll ever be whole again...