TW talk of miscarriage

Hi! I’m on my 4 th pregnancy, with no previous success.

Missed miscarriage at 8, threw a blood clot at 10, then went into early labor at 15 weeks due to infection my doctor KNOWINGLY left untreated.

I have a new set of doctors that are taking this pregnancy VERY seriously. Lots of appointments and tests. I’m 12 weeks in 2 days and things are going so much BETTER than my other pregnancy’s.

Except one small thing, I can’t seem to get excited. I’m definitely happy, as I really want to be a mom. But I feel like I’m subconsciously not getting attached for fear of loosing another baby.

I don’t want this, I want to be happy, excited. I want to feel like tingle in my stomach when I think about being a mom. But my heart still drops.

I don’t know what to do.

My partner is AMAZING and always lets me talk and is always there for me.

How do I get over this fear, and get excited for my little one?

Photo of my little one growing❤️