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Do not name your baby after your mother just because she wants it, she sounds very rude tbh
Baby name struggles
Back story... I'm pregnant with my 4th baby. We have one boy and two girls, and I am pregnant with our 3rd girl. We named our first kiddo (who turns 7 in March) Wyatt Robert - his middle name is after my husband's grandpa (he is still living but in his 80s). Our second's name is Eliana Sue - her middle name is after my paternal grandmother (again, shes alive but in her mid-80s). We named our third, and what we thought was going to be our final, Nora Grey - she is not named after anyone on either side because we didnt want to deal with anyone getting upset on either side since our plan was for her to be our last. One of my sisters has two girls - Paislee Kay (Kay after our maternal grandmother who died when i was in high school) and Chloé Rebecca-Marie (who got her middle name from my sister's fiancé's mom and grandma because he picked the middle name since my sister did their first). Another sister has one kid and named him Jonah Alan (Alan is my dads middle name). WELL. After my sister announced the name of her youngest daughter, my moms feelings got very hurt (like saying she was going to not be in the delivery room and my sister should just have his mom there instead even though my sister only wanted her fiance and my mom - my mom did end up going into the delivery room thankfully) but again, my sister had nothing to do with her name because she picked her oldest daughter's. Fast forward to now.. again, im pregnant with another girl. My mom keeps asking us what were naming her and if were naming her after anyone. Ive told her we havent decided on a name but we arent planning on naming her after anyone like our youngest daughter.. and my mom gets upset and continues to push. Today she told me that I should just name my daughter Cassandra (my moms name is Sandra Gayle) regardless of what my husband wants since he hasnt been helping to pick a name - just shoots down every name i suggest (which is also frustrating). I dont know what to do or what to say to my mom. I LOVE my mom - she is one of the strongest, most amazing humans i know but shes equating whether we name our kids after her or not to mean either we dont love her, love her less than everyone else even though she was the one that primarily raised us, or she wasnt a good enough mom. Which obviously NONE of that is the case but that seems to be what she has convinced herself. D: what do i do from here???
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Sounds like your mom is making something that has nothing to do with her, completely about her. My mom is a pro at doing the very same thing. Over the years it has taken a negative toll on our relationship, though I don’t think she is even aware of that. Name your baby whatever you want. You’re not responsible for your mom’s feelings or perceptions.
That is super frustrating. Your mom has such a bug in her butt about being honored with a name for your children. I would tell her what you said here, that your love for your mother isn’t in any way reflected in what names you choose for your children. I would say something to the effect of, “my partner and I are having a hard enough time coming up with another name we both like that fits our family, I love you but I don’t need pressure from you. Forcing this issue will not make me want to name our child for you, in fact it’s doing the opposite.”If it was that important to her she should have named her own children after herself in some way. Honestly she should be embarrassed that she is pushing so hard for this. If she gets her way, it will only be through guilting her own children into it, which is not much of a legacy to give a grandchild.
Thanks, guys! I definitely dont plan on naming the baby Cassandra - and its making me dread telling her the baby's name when we do decide. Because i am sure shes going to get super upset. We are also not naming her after my husband's mom or anyone on either side of our families, like we didnt our third baby. I ADORE my mom. Shes not perfect but she does everything she can for her kids, even though most of us are now adults, and shes an amazing nana.... but so is my mother-in-law, and shes not pushing us to name the baby after her. Lol. Ive been so excited for our last little baby but when we found out it was a girl, i knew what my mom would start doing as soon as they said girl and she did. And my husband and i already struggle to agree on names so it was just a lot of added name stress.
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