Does any mama feel the same, I honestly can not stand my in laws. They baby sit my daughter on days I work. But i took off a whole month off to be with her and they kept showing up and wanting to come see her. I have no back bone so i always stay quiet.

Question

Does anyone else feel the same? I stay quiet and I tell my partner how I really feel but it not doing much. I just can’t seem to find a soft spot for them. What is something you do or how do I work through it?
Thank you

Answer

Unless there are specific reasons why you don’t like them (they are rude, belittle you, don’t respect you etc) it doesn’t really make sense for you to not want them to see her especially since you trust them enough to watch her, so is it that you truly cannot stand them or that you just can’t stand someone operating out of a situation that only benefits you? I am a first time mom to an 8 month old and I let both my mom and my in laws watch my baby. I don’t need a lot of help with child care since I work from home, so if a week or so passes and they haven’t seen him I typically get texts of “can we pop in today” “can we take him for a few hours” etc. I understand not wanting to see family….a lot of days I just want to spend with my husband and kid myself. But you also have to look outside of yourself and realize that a lot of times family is annoying and if they aren’t annoying to a certain extent they’re dead haha. If you want your children to have a loving and strong relationship with their grands as they grow, you have to foster that when they are younger. Many people don’t have family that WANTS to take the time out of their schedules to see mom and baby. Maybe set some boundaries as to when they see her, or ask for a few days notice so you can prepare and plan, but ask yourself this: if she is gaining nothing but love, don’t you want as many people that love her to be able to provide a little community for her and become a safe space for her?

Answer

I can sort of understand what you mean, mine can annoy me a bit sometimes, but im sure my parents annoy my partner a little at times as well. I wouldn't be happy people just turning up without letting me know, but thats on your husband to have a polite word about dropping you a text if they want to come round. Its pretty amazing that you have such good support from them while you are at work though, not many people have that luxury!

Answer

I wouldn’t let people I can’t stand watch my child… Also this sounds like you are just not putting boundaries in place so you really can’t blame them for coming over if you are not telling them that isn’t what you want.

Answer

I would gently explain you took the time off to be with her and bond and maybe pick a day every other week you guys can meet up for a walk or something

Does any mama feel the same, I honestly can not stand my in laws. They baby sit my daughter on days I work. But i took off a whole month off to be with her and they kept showing up and wanting to come see her. I have no back bone so i always stay quiet.

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