My boyfriend and I have been together since February 2021 but had been unofficially together for the entire year prior. That makes 4 years of history and 3 years of actually being together. I am 33 and he is 41. He does not have kids and has never been engaged or married. I was married previously and have 2 kids.

He is great with my kids and is a wonderful person overall but I'm at a point in this relationship where it feels like something is telling me I need to make a decision about whether or not we stay together.

The entire time we have been together I have felt like I need to suppress the extent of how I feel because he wouldn never say how he felt but I always could see it through his actions. Actions speak louder than words they say, but when no words or confirmation is ever spoken it can be very confusing. He didn't tell me he loved me until we had been together for almost 2 years. He didn't even call me his girlfriend until we had been exclusively dating for a year. That is a silly detail to mention especially for our ages, but just an example of how something so simple was so difficult for him to talk about. He would never talk about us having kids or getting married, our future, etc. We have talked about those topics in general but not in terms of actual plans for our future. However, tells me he wants a child of his own and he wants to be married.... just not specifics of when. He moved in with me almost a year ago and that was a major step for him. I felt as though things would quickly develop from there but here we are, another year later and we are still in the same place. I really though he would have proposed by now but he hasn't. Nor does he seem like he is in any rush to do so. I know I sound as if I want it all and I want it all right away but he is older so I genuinely thought it would start happening by now. I don't think it is too soon in our relationship to be engaged if that is something we both want. He always says "I just moved in" but that was almost a year ago. He doesn't seem anywhere near ready to seriously take that step and it is all becoming very concerning to me.

Since he moved in, we bicker about so many things. I feel like his opinion regarding decisions always supersedes mine and that I'm often talked out of what I want to do. I'm starting to feel a lot of resentment toward him because there are things I really want for us, that I have voiced to him over and over, and it all feels so unattainable at this point.

I want to be engaged, buy a house, get married and have a baby, like many of us do. But time is just passing; we are still living in this apartment that is not big enough for us all to live comfortably, we are not engaged etc. It feels like we are just at a standstill.

It seems that our desires/timelines are not aligning and I'm constantly waiting for him to make a move or to be ready. I love him so much but I'm contemplating walking away from this relationship.

I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or to be told if I am/am not crazy for feeling this way. Any unbiased feedback would be greatly appreciated.