So my husband and I are going over baby names. We are not expecting, but in a few months we are going to start trying. I do get along with my husband’s mother, and I love and respect her because she is my husband’s mother. But I don’t see eye to eye with her about a lot of things. She and my husband sometimes have had a very toxic relationship, and she has honestly hurt my husband and hurt our relationship in a lot of ways, she has hurt me in a lot of ways because of her forcing her opinion on my husband and threatening him over it. He is still trying to fix the issues that she has caused during his childhood, and a lot of it has spilled over into our marriage, we have worked very hard but we still struggle with his childhood traumas. However, my husband is adopted and she took him in from an abusive situation when he was young. In many ways he still sees her as his savior, even though she has had flaws in parenting herself, she still has a big heart, for that I love her and will always respect her despite the other issues. On a day to day basis it’s not always easy for me, and sometimes I have to fight myself to not be resentful to her when she tries to push her opinion on our marriage. I’ve always been nice and kind to her despite, so I’ve never had a direct confrontation with her.

Anyways, my husband told me today he wants our future daughter to have his mother’s first name as her middle name, and asked me if it’s something I would consider. I don’t really like this, I don’t want to feel resentful in the future and start making comparisons like “well why can’t my moms name be apart of this?” Or start asking myself why we chose her name to be apart of our child when she has caused both of us a lot of turmoil. I want to show respect her in some way and I want to give that to my husband, but I’m just worried how I will feel about this decision long term. Am I being unreasonable?