For further context, we’ve been together for almost a decade. 😬

I am 37, and he is 47. We live together and have a good life for the most part. 2 kiddos that are both from previous marriages. Ages are 12 and 14. Family life is good. Good definitely outweighs any bad, but I can’t say it doesn’t bother me that we are not yet married after so long.

We have talked about marriage since the first year of dating and have lived together since 2015. I thought we were both on the same page since it was heavily discussed. He proposed to me on our 4 year anniversary. We started planning shortly after but then Covid happened and we canceled. Long story short, it’s been a battle ever since. I’ve suggested dates and even going to the JP, but he always says he wants to do it right and give me a real wedding with our kids, family and friends. He agreed to marry me when he finished a work project he was on in October and when I was moving forward with plans, he acted like he didn’t want to, but the said his contract got extended.

We talked about getting married this Spring and I asked if we could set a date and he said let’s do it. He agreed to a date in March. I asked if he was going to back out on me again and he told me wouldn’t do that, that we’re forever. The problem here is that he is actually giving me second thoughts this time around. It really has bothered me and hurt me more than words can describe that he hasn’t married me after all these years. I love him and can’t imagine my life without him but I could never do what he has done and it makes me question why I haven’t been good enough all of these years.