Is it foolish or stupid to take back a partner that cheated?

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I don’t think “once a cheater always a cheater”
But I do feel it’s very hard to have full trust in a partner that cheated on you. Without full trust, the relationship will fail. You’ll always be on edge wondering if they are doing it again.
Also, if they cheated on you, they don’t respect you or the relationship. I don’t see how a healthy relationship could blossom after that.

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Only you can make that choice. If you want to work it out and think there’s something there, get counseling. Figure out- together- where the breakdown is and work on it. Maybe your partner needs some counseling. 
People do make mistakes. 
If you don’t want to stay or work it out, that’s ok. 
Don’t listen to people who put you down.

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In my opinion it's stupid and foolish to take a cheater back. There's never an excuse. It's not hard in the least to stay faithful. Every single action is a choice. Getting the number of someone you find attractive is a choice. Texting them and getting closer is a choice. Meeting up is a choice. Flirting, kissing, literally every single move made is a seperate individual choice made. Being dumb enough to drink to the point where you have "no inhibitions" and cheat is a choice. Every single thing about cheating is a choice. Every single action is a choice to intentionally be of low character and low morals. I don't associate with cheaters and would never put myself in the position of even thinking about taking a cheater back. If someone cheats they have character flaws and that isn't something that can be changed. A person of low character and low morals isn't going to change.

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both foolish and stupid

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I’m gonna guess you are a female and the one that cheated is a male? Cheating is a choice. You don’t just slip and fall into a vagina and her clothes just happens to be off. They know what they are risking by engaging with another person. Emotionally. And then physically. Taking a man back after catching him or him admitting it. Is your choice. From my personal experience in their shoes who have been cheated on, as well as dealing with it for work purposes child support and divorce. They just get sneakier. And do it again because they got away with it once and the behavior becomes acceptable and tolerated and respect goes out the window for the wife. They know you don’t want to be alone and will tolerate whatever so that you won’t be. I hear it all the time. I’ve got one right now. Couple married over 25 years. Religious couple they used to build churches in their country before they came to the USA. Husband cheated and decided he’s staying with the girl, much younger. The older daughters kicked him out when they found out. He was living in his car and it’s winter so the wife felt bad and took him back. He’s been home 2 months hasn’t given her a dime. She says we need milk bread etc. and you haven’t given me any money. He says I will buy you milk and bread but I will never give you another dime. He’s saving up to move in with the new woman. Another man cheated 4 years ago for 4 years with a girl. When it didn’t work out she wrote the wife a letter and explained everything. If you cheat on me again I’m divorcing you. He still cheats. Even with cameras in and outside the house, she tracks his phone and car gps. Coworkers going at it in the parking lot. Or take the others persons car. Leaving their phone at their desk. Friends covering for them. Not saving numbers. Idk who it is must be spam. Just an initial or bob from work. Etc. I can tell you story after story. Nothing shocks me. It’s your choice if you stay. They act right for a while and then right back at it. Once trust is broken it’s never the same the wife over thinks everything they say or do. You feel like you are walking on eggshells in your own skin. Like a piece of paper that’s been crumbled in the palm of your hand the paper will never be how it once was. The lines of deception will always be there. Is he really working late. Going to the gym. Having a drink with his friend. Etc. they aren’t the person they once were. You no longer look at them the same. They used to be someone that you thought would never hurt you. You lose respect for them. You no longer have them on that “Superman pedestal” he’s tainted. And you live with it always in the back of your mind until you can’t take it anymore. You lash out, you are miserable. You are sad. You feel everything under the sun and are entitled to. and you are no longer the same person either.

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I think it will always be something that will be between you and him in the relationship. Cheating is a choice. It doesn’t just happen. People CAN change if they want to but most don’t. Like I said, it happened and it will always come between you and him. 
My advice: Not. A. Good. Idea.

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My MIL has been with her cheater for 30 years. He’s still cheating on her regularly. She’s even friends with some of them. That’s not something I would choose but do what you want.

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I don’t agree with the once a cheater always a cheater. I feel like cheating isn’t a one size fits all and it would really depend on the relationship. Are we talking about drunken one night hook up? An emotional affair? A hook up with a coworker or ex? We’re all humans and we all make mistakes. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Personally and in my relationship I wouldn’t tolerate any kind cheating since we’re in a 15+ year long relationship with kids and a house. He should know better than to even get into a questionable situation at this point. Maybe in a different point in my life/relationship I’d feel differently.

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I don’t believe in “once a cheater always a cheater” but it’s way more complex than that. People have negative patterns & get stuck in a loop & sometimes they never see outside of them & grow from the experience. A lot of people get stuck in their own negative tendencies, doesn’t mean everyone will. Doesn’t mean people can’t learn & grow. I’d be cautious to allow someone who has cheated on me back into my life, and without witnessing a real evolution in how they behave, I don’t know if I could ever really trust them again.

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I think there -can- be some nuance in this if it was a one-time occurrence and the offending partner immediately came clean and gets therapy. An ongoing affair, multiple cheating partners, lying about what happened, and emotional infidelity in my opinion are all indications that this person won’t change their behavior. In the vast majority of cases I don’t think it’s smart to take a cheater back.

Is it foolish or stupid to take back a partner that cheated?

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