okay mamas let me give you some context. i have a 2 year old and a 5 week old with this man. been together almost 5 years. our 2 year old developed a snotty nose today because it’s been 20 degrees outside all week. as i said we have a newborn so we haven’t gone anywhere, nor had anyone over. but somehow it’s my fault our 2 year old is “sick” and before he started texting me all this he was whisper yelling at me for letting him go outside in the cold, which i haven’t because it’s too cold for our newborn. then when he coukdnt make the sickness itself my fault he yelled at me for not having cold medicine(we never get sick so what i had was from last year snd expired) i told him if he doesn’t have anything helpful to say to please hush and leave me alone so we can all get some sleep. this is where the texting started. i decided to get up and go on the couch with both kids to save myself from being yelled at all night and let him get some sleep since he does have to work, which i think is super freakin considerate of me.

the way he’s speaking to me is a weekly occurrence at this point. i could go through my texts and take 1000s of screenshots with him speaking to me this way, and even worse sometimes. he has a bad day at work or something and will do everything in his power to find some way to take it out on me. some days it’s for absolutely no reason at all. he hasn’t always been like this, he used to be a wonderful sweet caring man but after we had kids, he flipped the script. true narcissist behavior, they don’t show their true colors til they think you’re stuck. like i said rather then being yelled at any time either kid wakes up like every other night for “not caring about his sleep” , i decided to just get my kids and go to the couch and put my phone on DND for a little peace while my sanity was still in tact which resulted in him still saying i don’t care about his sleep just like he would’ve had i stayed in there 🙃i guess my question is, is this considered abuse? sometimes i do have enough and argue back i can fully admit that but mostly i’m pretty level headed and either calmly and respectfully respond or just fully ignore him until he can calmly discuss the issue with me which seems to piss him off more. my dad was physically abusive growing up, and my relationship before him was physically and verbally abusive so i have a hard time and figuring out where the line between normal behavior from someone under extra stress and actual verbal abuse would be