Last year I ended things with my fiancé and I feel like a part of me has died. To give context to the text below one night I randomly received a message from a girl I considered a friend telling me me that there was a tape of me that was sent by a guy I did NOT give consent to, that night I was already having a terrible day my cousin who I consider a sister had gone missing and I got rejected from two jobs; I spent all year trying to get a job and got rejected by every single last one so not only was I already emotionally exhausted but I was stressed and hearing someone had a video of me performing acts on my body sent me over the edge and I tried to end myself I just couldn’t take it anymore. I contacted a friend who came to my aid after I slit my wrist yes I’m aware I should’ve got medical help but in that moment I just had no fight in me, my mind was gone, eventually I told my boyfriend/fiance about me cutting but I didn’t give him full context because I felt embarrassed by this tape floating around I just told him about the jobs rejecting me he acted as if I could confide in him about anything which was my biggest mistake I’ve always been told never tell a man what you’re going through because they use it against you but I trusted him with everything in me, I trusted him so much I let him read my diary not knowing he was just going to use my struggles against me. One night we were arguing because he was being so mean to me about me not attending his sister in laws gender reveal even though I was sick because we both thought I was pregnant but that wasn’t a good enough excuse to him and he sent me this text below:

My heart is shattered we’ve been broken up for two months now I’ve gone no contact but I constantly go back to this text.I can’t believe someone I loved so much would say this to me💔 I just don’t see how anyone who claims to love you would use your trauma against you . These words are stuck in my head and I don’t know how to move forward 😢