TRIGGER WARNING: SA also this is probably kind of TMI so beware lol just want to make sure everyone is comfortable before reading my experience

hi!! so i want to stay anonymous just in case. but im 19, a non binary lesbian, and ive had tremendous amounts of sexual trauma. so, for the past few years and first years of college, i havent been able to have a love life if ykwim. im too anxious to do anything because im so scared of intimacy. im also having trouble because i kind of have a crush on this girl sophia, and the entire day i was like having day dreams about us and i want to make a move and do things with her but my anxiety is holding me back. but when i try to please myself, i cant get off. im scared that i wont ever be able to feel good in bed again. is it all in my head, like a mental block?