My husband and I are one and done. Our families keep pressuring us to have a second or even third child. How long did it take for your family to accept that you were one and done?

Question

Our son is three. We've told our families since before he was born that we only wanted one child but they say that's not a good enough reason to not have a second or third child. We say we can't afford it, and they say that you can take out a loan, remortgage the house, or they'll say that they'll give us money. We remind them that I had a hell of a pregnancy and birth with our only child and they say each pregnancy is different. We've given them every reason but they counter us and will not accept that we just don't want more children and we will not be having them. My husband is considering a vasectomy and I have an IUD which I love 
Our son is 3 and couldn't give a flying 🦆about a baby brother or sister. When he's asked if he wants a sibling, he says "No" and will tell you about what toy he wants. At Christmas time (newly 3 years old) he was asked if Santa was bringing him a baby brother or sister and he said, "No. He's bringing me trains." My MIL said, "But don't you want a baby brother or sister?" And he said "No. I want trains." We don't talk about it with him unless he brings it up, which he has only a handful of times. Each time it's been essentially, "I'm not getting a brother or sister, right?" 
We don't want to cut our families out of our lives but I don't think we have any other choice at this point. We already don't let them visit us and we will only visit them. We've told them repeatedly that we will end the visit if they bring up having more kids. They already know that they're not welcome at our house because of how they act about having more kids. Obviously we're going to have to start being more drastic.
How long did it take for your family to accept that you were one and done or finished having kids?

Answer

First and foremost the best advice i can give is to stop giving them reasons as to why you dont want another one like you said they counter you and if you give them a reason to counter they think theyve won and can keep pushing for it if you give someone reasonings as to why you do or dont want to do something they think they have entitlement bc they are important enough for you to have to explain yourself to. From here on out if they tell you about having a second or third just simply tell them no if they ask why not tell them its none of their business you dont need to explain yourself to them and continue to another conversation if they keep trying to push remove yourself from their presence theyll learn to stop bc they wont be able to conversate with you otherwise. If that doesnt work after awhile simply tell them you will no longer have them in your presence if they can't respect your boundaries and the privacy that should only be you and your husbands when it comes to decisions like that

Answer

Some of these comments are just... Yikes on several bikes. Don't listen to people who say you should let it go or that you're petty or in the wrong. You and your husband only want one child. That's an excellent reason for having only one child! 
No more explanations. You do not owe your family any. Tell them that if this continues, you're going no contact for 6 months. Maybe then they'll get it. If they don't, repeat. Any time they bring up how you need to have a second child, you cut off contact for 6 months. 
Your boundary is simple: you're having one child. That's that. They do not get any say in the matter. It's none of their damn business.

Answer

Not once did it come up with either of our families.. i don't discuss our private life.. nor does my husband.. if it would like urs.. i would completely not answer and say it's not something u want to talk about and i'm not discussing it with u.. it's terrible they want to be involved because what if u actually wanted to and struggled to conceive.

Answer

It never was an issue. We were one and done. It really isn't anyone's business. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Answer

I will have to agree with your family, having only one child is horrible. It's extremely selfish. I am an only child even though my parents would have loved to have more children and let me tell you I HATED it!! Even up to now at my age , sometimes I wish that I had at least 1 sibling. Growing up all alone is a horrible thing let me tell you. And don't tell me anything about cousins or friends because they not good enough to replace having a sibling. So please, think about your son instead of yourself and your husband. Your child's happiness and needs are the most important and as parents that should be your priority. So whay if you have one more child? It won't be the end of the world nor will it turn your life upside down. It's unfair to force a child to grow up in solitude and it's unfair that when you and your husband die or  get old the responsibility of dealing with everything will fall solely on him. Believe me when I tell you that children need siblings, it does so much for their development and well-being. I have always felt like I was missing something and up to no I feel deficient so don’t purposely eo that to your child!! And for those of you who will comment saying that you are happy having no siblings, you don't know how OP's child will feel so it's better to give than not give. And for those who have and wish that you didn't, you don't know how lucky and blessed you are. Even if yall  hate each other and never speak; the fact that you had someone to grow up with was a huge privilege! And to me that's when siblings count most and are needed most, when we're growing up.

My husband and I are one and done. Our families keep pressuring us to have a second or even third child. How long did it take for your family to accept that you were one and done?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey